Coffee ‘not essential’ for human survival. OK, who wants to fight?

The usually-neutral people of Switzerland have decided that ‘coffee isn’t essential for human survival’, which is basically a declaration of war on the rest of the world.

The country has a system of emergency reserves in place that requires companies to maintain stockpiles of certain critical foodstuffs (such as rice, sugar or animal feed). The idea is that those stockpiles can then be tapped into in case of food shortages – say during wartime or as a result of a natural disaster. But, they’ve decided that coffee beans aren’t a post-apocalyptic requirement for the human species, so coffee stockpiling obligations will no longer be in effect after 2022.

“The Federal Office for National Economic Supply has concluded coffee … is not essential for life,” the government said. “Coffee has almost no calories and subsequently does not contribute, from the physiological perspective, to safeguarding nutrition.”

Interestingly, the Swiss are epic coffee lovers, consuming over twice the daily average than Brits consume. And all is not lost, as the final decision to remove the obligation will be made in November this year, and 12 of the 15 companies that currently have mandatory coffee stockpiling requirements have indicated that they would prefer to voluntarily continue stockpiling coffee beans. After all, the apocalypse aside, it makes sense for large companies to protect their supply chain and they already have the infrastructure in place to manage their stockpiles.

What do you think? If the apocalypse were upon us, would your survival kit include your bean of choice and coffee grinder?

Personally, I think I’d rather face a raging horde of the undead, than try and survive with a bunch of people not getting their caffeine fix.